spencermary

is a pretty decent actor

but isn't very active.

something's got to give...

spencermary

is a crazy person.

and

i'm embarrassed.

could it have been determined any differently?

i want to wear big sweatshirts

 black stirrup leggings

with tall green garden boots 

everyday and

have people listen 

to what i have to say,

and especially to the 

wonderful news that i've got for them.

i'd rather they not already know

because of an online social networking page

that is constantly keeping tabs on me,

feeding me quite literally to the public

while i, in turn, am frantically feeding them. 

someone would think of such a thing.

why am i home?

this isn't helping my complexion!

i read the things 

that i write to people

that i write

and finger-pick to people;

i'm a crazy person!

we're all lonely crazy persons!

language drives us apart.

language separates us.

language stifles our breath.

information and not communication.

it's the duchess.

still! it's the duchess!

our situation.

we haven't changed,

we've only changed our clothes.

our natural, social, political surroundings

consume us.

we deny the river 'till the end. 

and the end and the end

how come?

so says the universe

in the strangest way.

a river rogue, 

a dollar's drudge,

a couple beers and me.

the conversations

that ensued

were further blows

to my soul's calamity.

where have i heard this?

everything sounds the same.

silence is sacred

but it's a loosing game.

take up your garden.

breathe in between.

tomorrow is not ours.

there's virtue in waiting...

in waiting in waiting in

waiting in vain.

yes 

-i- 

can-mode goggles

on..

getting

together 

for the first time

already

fixing 

to make you mine

spencermary

wants some 

human 

connection!!

!!!!!!

!!

as should you- independently, and transcendently.

a whistle from the kitchen

turned into a siren

a florescent sign flashed

where the sidewalk ends

caution

the floor's slippery

stop

you're going the wrong way

attention

in case of fire 

are we moving so fast

that we can't be accountable

for the two feet underneath us?

i caused that.

and that

and that

and this

and now i must brave

the unknown effects.

she is

nevertheless

making progress

and you, 

you're just making a mess

of yourself. 

i'm just

as comfortable

with these

things

as you are: not.

i don't understand

what turned you

so cold.

i had high hopes

for summer,

sweetened by 

corner store cokes

and drags of cherry smokes.

that ain't nothin 

but wistful

smoke dreams.